Favourite activities during a session:
Leading an exploratory taster session
Current favourite toy:
Toys can be helpful and carry their own potent significance, but I think my favourite toy will always be my own body. I have always had this natural communion with my physicality; an ability to pour emotion out through my meat and bones and to connect with others in an extension of that. I find it such a rich tool that often it means all the floggers, whips, canes, restraints, gags, and other devices I carry for imparting magickal sensation go more-or-less unused. Think of hands. The tens (maybe hundreds) of ways they can act on someone. They stroke, slap, caress, creep, crawl, press … et cetera. The way a slight change in intent is subtly communicated through the way my hands form for any one of these actions, the way my arms can embrace and my legs can envelop and hold fast.
It’s not easy to say which part of this I am currently enjoying most, but I have recently been bringing my voice into my sessions more. Exploring dirty talk, verbal humiliation and nurturing. Allowing the relationship between me and my sub to be forged through words as well as physically. I particularly enjoy the interplay between the symbolic action of the voice and the physical action of the body as they contradict and play off each other.
What type of Dom are you?
My style is generally nurturing, with an edge of playful sadism. I only want you to have a bad time if that’s really what you want or if it can take you to the place that you want to go, but it’s important to me that my submissives know they are in safe and caring hands so I can take them to those places on a wave of trust.
How I appear as the dominant in the room gets tempered by what the client is looking for, and what sort of experience is going to be incredible for them on that day. My sessions set up magic circles into which I invite my subs, in which they will encounter the person they need to come face-to-face with, to take them where they want to go. It’s a protected and private space simultaneously within and outside of reality, but it’s also an ephemeral one that appears, at least in this form, only for the duration of our time together.
I take consent and communication very seriously; I think a lot of people who have never been to a pro dom(me) look at these powerful figures and are afraid of biting off more than they can chew. The fact is that every person who comes to me is unique in their desires and you aren’t going to have to do anything you don’t want to unless that itself is something we have specifically agreed upon doing.
I am keen on getting people to ask for what they want, even if it seems like a contradictory thing to do. I think embracing and owning your kink always gets you a better experience. Of course that’s easily said, and sometimes your own desire can be hard to pinpoint or articulate. I am generally pretty good at helping people find them out, even if they still aren’t ready to put words to them.
What makes you unique?
When clients come to see me, when they walk into the room, they are really walking into what I think is best described as a layered playspace that I have designed and set out just for them. It’s a sort of heaven -or maybe a kind of hell- that is a distinct microcosm of their desire, of what they crave and suffer in their lives. It is privileged and protected and it’s where they meet two versions of me. One is the guiding watcher, who holds this play space, makes sure it’s cared for and secure and safe. The other is the dominant; the man the client needs to be in the room with for this experience to come alive. It’s in this role that I experience all the pleasure that I get from topping. It is this side of me that gets turned on by your submission. I know exactly what move to make next because doing it makes me strain at my pants, makes my heart pound, brings a light to my eye and a smile to my lips.
What does dominance / submission / fetish mean to you?
BDSM is something that has been part of my sexuality and world view for as long as I remember having either. It’s not just a play of symbols and fantasies, although that is a big part of it; it’s intimately entwined in the really real world. A deep and rich and complex and brutal thing, not just seen but totally experienced.
By totally experienced, what I mean is really three things working together in concert: the corporeal, the mental, and the social. Having all those things working together helps to create this real and all enveloping world. And that in turn is what I think gives real depth and pleasure to an experience like this. You aren’t playing at suffering; you really are suffering. You aren’t playing submissive, you really are submitting. Of course, that world is artfully constructed in such a way as to manage risk, to allow the exercise of care and to safeguard consent.
What do you love about SM?
There are some blissful experiences in SM. The pure physical rush plays a big part, but I think it’s at its best when there is also the meaningfulness and poetry SM can give to it. All that pleasure becomes resonant with life’s pain and impossibility, tightly embraced by the animal urges of the sadist and propped up by the yearning of the masochist. It’s a lived play of suffering that can be so essential and real.
The important thing about it, though, is that it’s enjoyable. I don’t see clients because I want to make some kind of art, or because -as some people assume- I want to provide a form of therapy; sometimes those things happen by accident, but it’s not my intention at all. I do them because I want people to indulge in those experiences, to have them because that is what they want and it doesn’t rightly matter why.
How did you begin this profession / what has changed since then?
BDSM has been part of my life since I was a teenager, but it wasn’t until 2015 that I started actually working in the sex industry. To be frank I’m still not sure what took me so long; looking back it has always been the direction in which I have been drawn. I suppose I just started out a long way away. I have been making porn since coming to the industry. Mostly what is known as alternative porn and feminist porn. I’ve performed a bunch for Erika Lust’s XConfessions if you want to check some of it out. I started escorting soon after and moved to Berlin last year, where what I do has turned more and more towards BDSM, and allowed me to use my dominant self, eventually bringing me here to Studio Lux.
I don’t know if I can say how much the profession has changed in Berlin specifically, or, in fact, by talking from my own experience alone. But I can say that I have changed as a practitioner. I mean I am always learning, and always developing my praxis, and being here at Lux and getting to learn from these amazing dominants is a help and a joy.